I’ve been having a hard time focusing on just one thing at a time lately — and at the same time, there’s this little worry creeping in, like maybe I’m starting to lose my sense of urgency.
The funny thing is, I actually feel really good. Happy, content, pretty grounded. And honestly, I’ve felt this way for most of this year.
This was something I mentioned to my therapist during our last session.
“That’s amazing! I can see it in your face and feel it in your energy!” she said, smiling.
We ended up having a deep conversation about my constant need to do a million things at once. Her take? I might simply be experiencing a bit of boredom.
She gave me a small assignment: over the next few days, I should observe my thoughts and feelings while multitasking — but (here’s the twist) only allow myself to do two things at a time.
“Huh, this could actually be fun,” I thought.
So… here we go.
After paying closer attention to myself for a few days, I uncovered some patterns — little clues as to why I always feel the need to operate this way:
- Teenagers = chaos management.
Living with two teens means constantly stocking up on food, keeping bathrooms and the kitchen functional, and managing a shared space that can quickly spiral into disaster. Getting them to help usually involves drama and arguments — which just adds to my stress — so most days, it’s easier to just handle it myself. - Chores are boring, but mess is worse.
A messy house completely throws me off. It’s distracting, and it makes deep focus almost impossible. Walking away doesn’t solve it either — it just feels like I’m postponing the inevitable and stacking guilt on top of stress. So, I usually tell myself, “Just get it done.” - Entertainment makes it bearable.
Listening to music, YouTube, or Netflix while cleaning or cooking makes those tasks way more enjoyable. - Learning while doing.
Podcasts and audiobooks during drives, chores, or errands make me feel like I’m reclaiming otherwise “wasted” time. - Phone distractions are real.
Sometimes I’m juggling laundry, cleaning, and cooking — and then a call or a message pops up, and just like that, my flow is broken. Could I put my phone on Do Not Disturb? Sure. Did I? Nope. (Thanks, FOMO.) - Planning trips during classes.
While attending an online class or writing, I catch myself planning my next outdoor adventure with friends. Yep… FOMO again. - The illusion of productivity.
Starting a bunch of chores at once tricks me into thinking I’m super efficient — when really, it’s just me trying to rush through the boring stuff so I can move on to the fun stuff. - Perfectionism.
I definitely have a thing for trying to do everything just right. - Clearing space for focus.
I find it so much easier to sit down and work when the house is clean, meals are prepped, and there’s nothing weighing on my mind. - Being a good mom.
Preparing meals and creating a clean, welcoming home feels like one small but important way I show love to my kids — and that matters a lot to me.
So what’s the bottom line?
A big part of it is stress prevention. Music, comedy, podcasts — all of these little things make chores less soul-crushing.
I also work better when my space is clear and calm. Mess stresses me out way more than a little extra effort ever could.
I crave the feeling of making the most of my time — whether it’s learning something new in a traffic jam or knocking out a few chores while dinner cooks.
I absolutely have FOMO. No question about it.
And even though prepping meals and cleaning ahead of time sometimes feels exhausting, it leaves me with a deep sense of peace — knowing that even on my busiest days, I made sure my family felt cared for.
There are just so many things I want to experience in life. I’m not trying to avoid the boring stuff — I’m trying to clear it out of my way so I can get to the good parts.
Does any of these things sound familiar to you? How do you manage your time on a daily basis when you have a family to manage, job(s), social life and still trying to stay true to yourself?
With Love,
Daow
