Disconnect To Reconnect

Disconnect to reconnect: A reclaimation of balance and authenthicity

My personal philosophy in life is to live actively and mindfully. I seek ways to minimize stress, to stay balanced and I wish to continue experiencing personal growth. I enjoy creating positive and meaningful connections with the people around me. I’ve also learned that when I am better connected to myself, it’s easier to build positive experiences with other people. 

Today, however, I am thinking about the opposite term of connection (which I’ve previously explored), and would like to discuss how we may use it as a tool to achieve these similar goals. I am talking about “Disconnection”. 

Disconnection to reconnect, yes it makes sense. Here’s my opinion.

Disconnection from the internet and social media. Even just for a few hours a day. We could all do with this and here’s why..

We are on a daily basis, connected by tools and technology that, although helpful, demand constant attention. They often leave us feeling overwhelmed and distant from ourselves. We’re very much caught in cycles of rapid response and instant gratification; emails, text messages and social media and the like. It’s easy to forget to take care of our emotional well-being or making time for other things that matter to us.

Disconnection from social situation and people.

No matter how active and engaging we would like to be socially, there will be days or even situations when it’s probably better to take a step back, give ourselves a break in order to reconnect with ourselves.

So, besides digital detox, equally important is the timeout you need to take care of yourself, your personal values and your authenticity. For this context, I’m thinking of the term “personal boundaries” as a form of social disconnection. But first we must learn to understand the why and the how to set them properly to avoid being misunderstood as acting in avoidance. 

Before we explore deeper into the methods of healthy disconnection, I would like to briefly share with you some of my personal story, how I come to value my personal space so greatly and maybe, at times, even fiercely protecting it. 

You see, as we go about our daily life, we’re usually dividing our time between work, study, with family, friends or with our partner(s). For those of us who are parents, single-parent or not, you know how precious a moment of undisturbed silence can be. I am one of these single-parents. Without boundaries and disconnection, it would have been even harder to teach my children about respect and keep myself sane. Without boundaries and disconnection, I probably would no longer stay in touch with some family members and friends. 

With regard to friendship, it was just recently that I went through an episode of nearly falling out with a very close friend. The issue started out with a simple misunderstanding that became emotional, then went from bad to worst. It was during that argument that I felt like my personal boundaries got violated and I had to request for some space, to give each of us some time to reflect on the situation. Thanks to this longer stretch of timeout in between, we are now able to look back with more empathy and compassion as we reconnect. 

It was this event that brought my attention to the term Disconnection and to think outside of the digital noise. The event reminded me that, sometimes it is necessary to take a break even from the people who matters so much to me. 

So now, let us take a look at some of the ideas and guidelines to go about healthy Disconnection and setting of Boundaries that I have gathered here to share with us below: 

1. Define the Intentions for Disconnection

• Clarify the Why: Reflect on why you feel the need to disconnect—are you overwhelmed, overstimulated, or seeking deeper self-understanding?
• Identify Your Goals: Set specific intentions, such as reducing stress, gaining clarity, or prioritizing self-care. 
• Write It Down: Journaling your intentions can anchor your purpose and keep you aligned. It’s like a set of self-reminders. 

2. Set Boundaries Thoughtfully

• Communicate Clearly: If disconnection involves others, let them know about your need for space. For example, “I’m taking some time to recharge so I can show up fully.”
• Establish Timeframes: Set realistic periods for disconnection, whether it’s a few hours daily, a weekend, or a longer period.
• Respect Others’ Needs: Balance your disconnection with the needs of loved ones to avoid creating unnecessary tension.

3. Create a Disconnection Ritual

Develop practices that allow you to unplug from external influences:

• Tech Detox: Turn off notifications or schedule tech-free hours. Use this time to connect with nature, read, or simply be still. Tech detox is my personal biggest challenge. But I have tried and it is possible. 
• Meditative Practices: Try mindfulness, yoga, or breathing exercises to ground yourself. My personal tip to meditation is to have a friend to join you so you can keep each other accountable. Here’s some tips to get you started. 
• Physical Space Reset: Rearrange or declutter a space in your home to create a serene environment for reconnection. Trust me, being in an uncluttered space makes a huge difference. 

4. Engage in Reflective Practices

• Journaling: Write about your emotions, insights, and experiences as you disconnect. This can help you process thoughts and uncover deeper truths. 
• Self-Compassion: Practice kindness toward yourself, especially if you find disconnection challenging at first.
• Solitude as Self-Discovery: Use moments of alone time to explore what brings you joy, peace, or inspiration.

5. Practice Healthy Communication

When you re-engage with others after periods of disconnection:

• Share What You Learned: Open up about your insights to deepen relationships.
• Express Gratitude: Appreciate the understanding of those who respected your space.
• Set Ongoing Boundaries: Establish habits to maintain a healthy balance between connection and personal space.

6. Integrate Activities That Foster Reconnection

Use your disconnected time for nourishing activities that bring you closer to your authentic self:

• Creative Expression: Paint, write, play music, or engage in any hobby that excites you.
• Physical Movement: Walk, dance, or exercise to reconnect with your body.
• Spiritual Practices: Explore meditation, prayer, or philosophical reflection.

7. Recognize When Disconnection Becomes Avoidance

While disconnection can be healthy, be mindful of these signs that it’s veering into avoidance:

• Prolonged Isolation: Avoiding social interactions or responsibilities for extended periods.
• Escapism Behaviors: Using disconnection to numb emotions rather than process them.
• Loss of Purpose: Feeling aimless or unfulfilled during your disconnected time.

When this happens, re-evaluate your intentions and seek support if needed (e.g., from a trusted friend, coach, or therapist).

8. Embrace Reconnection

Healthy disconnection ultimately leads to stronger relationships and a better understanding of yourself. To foster reconnection:

• Plan Quality Time: Engage deeply with loved ones without distractions.
• Share Your Presence: Be fully present in your interactions.
• Celebrate Growth: Reflect on how disconnection helped you grow and express gratitude for the experience.

9. Build a Sustainable Routine

Incorporate regular moments of intentional disconnection into your life:

• Daily Check-Ins: Spend 10-15 minutes daily in silence or reflection.
• Weekly Digital Detox: Dedicate one day a week to being offline.
• Seasonal Retreats: Plan extended periods of disconnection (e.g., a weekend getaway or solo retreat).

I hope you will find these ideas useful and great additions to your daily mindfulness practices in general. It is usually easier to be kinder and thoughtful to others instead of ourselves. So, please don’t forget to set yourself a reminder for that love and kindness to self. A little disconnection, a little bit of personal space isn’t an act of rejection. You’re simply reclaiming the balance in your life and your sense of self. Disconnection will help you reconnect with yourself and with those who matter most to you.

Last but not least, as I’m wrapping up with this article, I do indeed have a solo trip coming up. I’m heading out to Northern Norway; Tromso – Hooray! This trip has been very active in my mind over the past few years. I’m excited to learn more about the Sami’s way of life, the Arctic weather, the nature, the animals, what it’s like to live with very little sunlight and it would be a dream come true to witness the Northern Lights! It’s going to be an awesome break! 

With love, as always…

Daow

P.S. I’ve added some links here below, the first is to my older article on Connection and the other two are very interesting discussions on digital disconnection, a topic that I would love to further explore in the next article.